Flotsam & Jetsam: Recent News You Can Sort of Use

I’ll Wait for the Nantucket, Thanks
The Island Home is referred to by many as the Broken Home, due to its frequent excursions to sick bay. And then there’s the Governor, which crashed into the Martha’s Vineyard not long ago. But what of the brand-new Woods Hole? It made the trip north from Louisiana with no problems. But then pictures circulated of the boat doing something odd after it was laden with cars and trucks for the first time. It appeared to pearl, as surfers would say, or nosedive. Photos showed water up to the front loading deck. Word from the Steamship Authority was that all systems were go, however, and level-headed ferry observers retreated from their alarm stations. 

Wait, Wait, They Didn’t Really Ask That
F&J was listening to an NPR quiz show recently when the following question was asked: “Which of these three things caused an epic uproar of public opinion on the happy Isle of Martha’s Vineyard? Was it: a) an artsy film festival’s plans for a permanent home on the Island, b) a plan to replace the all-natural grass of the high school playing fields with AstroTurf, or c) a proposal to tax the fecal outflow of newcomers to the Island”? F&J was about to tentatively answer “all of the above” when the alarm went off and it was time to
go over-fertilize the lawn.

New Kids on the Cliffs
Faith’s Seafood Shack is no more, but have faith that food will still be available at the Gay Head Cliffs. Juli Vanderhoop and her Orange Peel Bakery moved into the space as the Orange Peel Café, offering a selection of fresh baked goods. Nearby, instead of clams at Dreamcatcher, it’s lobster rolls and fish tacos at Cliffhangers. Rounding out the new faces is Wayward Wampum, taking over from Howwasswee Trading Post, with a full selection of locally made art, including fish scale earrings. Meanwhile, the anchor that was supposed to change hands, the Aquinnah Shop, did not.

The Great White Pack Rat
Norway rats emigrated to the U.S. in the late 1700s, and some eventually found their way to the Vineyard. A Chappy resident remembered how, when she was a kid, the rats would bite the legs off her chickens. Now Gus Ben David, professor of all things wild and weird on the Island, has been given an albino Norway rat by his nephew. “As far as we know, it’s the only albino rat recorded in Massachusetts,” Ben David said. The great white Rattus norvegicus is dead and its last known whereabouts was Ben David’s freezer. But what about the rest of them? And...what else is in his freezer?

On Fischer’s Island
He stole your heart with his Timberland boots (Farmlander). He stole your mind with his pensive essays (Beardlander). And now he’s back to steal your stomach (Heritage Hunk of Hamlander). That’s right. Chris Fischer is now in Edgartown at the Covington, named for the boat that crashed into the Port Hunter, which is across the street. Eat. Read. Ogle.

Duly Noted
“After graduating from an Ivy League school and spending time in intellectual communities on the mainland, it is unappealing to go down-Island and step over nip bottles and be inundated with roustabouts. Who can blame one for preferring a better environment up-Island?”
        – online comment,