The last three decades have ushered in consistent innovation in Martha’s Vineyard transportation. Bike paths blossomed. The VTA revolutionized town-to-town bus travel. A congested blinking light morphed into a critically acclaimed circle.

As the Island looks toward the next thirty years, new advancements must be considered. Presidents, magazines, and “Top Ten” lists continue to tout the Island’s allure amidst a steady rise in global population. In the summers to come, bike lane crowding is possible, bus capacity could be tested, and roundabout fortitude might be up in the air.

Speaking of “up in the air,” helicopters would be too expensive, and one of human civilization’s great disappointments is that the Back to the Future hovercraft is still not a viable method of travel. Since looking up to the sky might not unlock any answers for increased passenger efficiency, maybe the key is subterranean?

A subway system. On Martha’s Vineyard. Let the hate mail begin!

Think of all the fun that could be had, though. Routes with catchy and apropos names, like a Missed The Boat line that runs back and forth between Oak Bluffs and Vineyard Haven. Or an Indecisive Line on a continuous loop between Oak Bluffs and Edgartown until the bars close. A Reconnector Rail would allow down-Islanders to finally pop in at their friends’ house in Aquinnah that they have promised to visit since the town was called Gay Head.

While highly unorthodox for a subway system, there should definitely be concession stands on board. The easiest and quickest solution, of course, is fast food. Yes, we don’t sanction chains on Martha’s Vineyard, but what about below Martha’s Vineyard?

In order to avoid the deluge of “I will NOT pay for this!” town meetings, this subway could be the first-ever mass transit system to be funded by Kickstarter. If it succeeds with short films, musical albums, and miscellaneous inventions, it should also do the same trick for the ________.

That’s right, the most important detail: a name! Boston has the T. London has the Tube. San Francisco the BART. This subway would also need a sweet moniker. An homage to the past, perhaps? How about the Gosnold? Or maybe something that symbolizes an underground treasure? The Arrowhead! No, this name needs to reflect a concept that is simultaneously powerful and terrifying and down below.

Call it JAWS.