Why is it that when I tell people that I live on Martha’s Vineyard, the rest of the conversation is entirely predictable? I imagine it’s akin to having a funny name, like Malveroni. People will always, thoughtlessly, ask about it, even though they must know that everyone else Malveroni has ever met also asked, “What kind of name is that? Is it Italian?”
Unlike Malveroni, my name is pretty straightforward. Instead, the question I get is, “Do you really live on Martha’s Vineyard year-round?”
The following script is how the rest of the conversation unfolds.
Me: Yes, year-round.
Them: You’re so lucky. What’s it like in the off-season?
Me: Autumn is spectacular. Winter and spring get a bit gray.
Them: What about your daughter? Does she live there too?
Me: She lives with us.
Them: Is there a school on Martha’s Vineyard?
Me: There are six fantastic elementary schools and a regional high school.
Them: Wow! What do you do in the winter? Is there anything to do?
Me: I work, see friends, go to movies, take walks.
Them: Does the ferry run in the winter?
Me: Once a month. If you commit to living there, leaving the Island between Thanksgiving and Easter is discouraged, but after Easter they start releasing us on a case-by-case basis. As a former New Yorker, I’m generally pretty high up on the list of the needy – prime for an immediate Island discharge.
Places like Martha’s Vineyard that are known as seasonal hot spots have an image problem in the off-season. In fact, the very notion of an off-season perpetuates the problem. Simply by virtue of being called “off-season,” it’s hard to escape the sense that something’s not quite right, and consequently, some people figure that once the sun sets on summer, the Island simply shuts down. The restaurants and shops hang their “Thank you for another great season” signs, and the windy roads straighten out to stretch; if they’re no longer required to look scenic, why bother. It’s the tree falling in the forest issue: If no one is around to hear it, did it make a sound? If there are no summer people around, could there possibly be anyone else here?
I propose that as a first step toward correcting the image issue, we redefine which season is which. After all, anyone who has ever spent even a day on Martha’s Vineyard in the “off-season” knows what the real “season” is.
And if that doesn’t work, what about changing the name of Martha’s Vineyard to Malveroni, just for the sake of conversation.
