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Posted inEssays & Humor

Off With the Off-Season

Kate Feiffer offers a new definition for the off-season.

Why is it that when I tell people that I live on Martha’s Vineyard, the rest of the conversation is entirely predictable? I imagine it’s akin to having a funny name, like Malveroni. People will always, thoughtlessly, ask about it, even though they must know that everyone else Malveroni has ever met also asked, “What kind of name is that? Is it Italian?”

Unlike Malveroni, my name is pretty straightforward. Instead, the question I get is, “Do you really live on Martha’s Vineyard year-round?”

The following script is how the rest of the conversation unfolds.

Me: Yes, year-round.

Them: You’re so lucky. What’s it like in the off-season?

Me: Autumn is spectacular. Winter and spring get a bit gray.

Them: What about your daughter? Does she live there too?

Me: She lives with us.

Them: Is there a school on Martha’s Vineyard?

Me: There are six fantastic elementary schools and a regional high school.

Them: Wow! What do you do in the winter? Is there anything to do?

Me: I work, see friends, go to movies, take walks.

Them: Does the ferry run in the winter?

Me: Once a month. If you commit to living there, leaving the Island between Thanksgiving and Easter is discouraged, but after Easter they start releasing us on a case-by-case basis. As a former New Yorker, I’m generally pretty high up on the list of the needy – prime for an immediate Island discharge.
Places like Martha’s Vineyard that are known as seasonal hot spots have an image problem in the off-season. In fact, the very notion of an off-season perpetuates the problem. Simply by virtue of being called “off-season,” it’s hard to escape the sense that something’s not quite right, and consequently, some people figure that once the sun sets on summer, the Island simply shuts down. The restaurants and shops hang their “Thank you for another great season” signs, and the windy roads straighten out to stretch; if they’re no longer required to look scenic, why bother. It’s the tree falling in the forest issue: If no one is around to hear it, did it make a sound? If there are no summer people around, could there possibly be anyone else here?

I propose that as a first step toward correcting the image issue, we redefine which season is which. After all, anyone who has ever spent even a day on Martha’s Vineyard in the “off-season” knows what the real “season” is.

And if that doesn’t work, what about changing the name of Martha’s Vineyard to Malveroni, just for the sake of conversation.

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Posted inEssays & Humor

The Off-Off-Season

It finally happened the other day. Four people in line at the coffee shop, and I knew every one of them.
    
It’s that time of the year again where life in this part of the world – as it does in most summer communities in the winter months – gets pretty cozy. Cozy might actually be a too-polite way of putting it. There are folks among us who’d prefer the term “stifling.” True, our numbers here on the Island dwindle to where that same person I was standing beside at the coffee shop is the same person who pumps my gas later that day, who is the same person who is J. Lo-ing it up at Karaoke Night at the pub where I grab a burger for dinner.
    
Did I say Karaoke? Yup, we're scraping the barrel for things to do here on Martha’s Vineyard in this, the off-off-season.
    
Without the summer folk here to support restaurants and art galleries and clothing stores – or even the busloads of senior citizens and student field trippers in the fall and spring – most doors are padlocked and windows boarded up. Some parts of Martha’s Vineyard resemble a ghost town – no tumbleweeds here, but when the wind picks up, a common sight is a ball of dried 
seaweed whipping down Circuit Avenue in Oak Bluffs past the muted carousel and several deserted ice-cream stores.
    
There is a difference between the off-season on a resort island versus a remote mainland resort town in Maine or even the Outer Banks of North Carolina. Those places, when the desire strikes in the depths of winter to escape your cloistered 
environs, you only need climb in 
your car and drive. However long it takes you, eventually the road will lead to the brighter lights of some citified place where no one knows your name . . . or the name of your dog . . . or the name of your ex-wife . . . or the name of that elective surgical procedure you’ve signed up for and are not very comfortable having people ask you about.
    
This is not to suggest that if you live in Bar Harbor in Maine or even the Outer Banks of North Carolina you’re making midnight runs to 
the big city every Friday, but the point is, you could if you wanted to.
    
Spontaneity here has its limits. When the mood strikes, you can’t just get in your car and go. At some point there’s going to be a splash, a glug-glug sound, and your plans for Thai food and a Hungarian art movie are sunk.
    
With all that said, I admit it – 
I love the winters on Martha’s Vineyard. Not just because it’s often impossibly beautiful here in the off-off-season, but that very sense of isolation appeals to me. It’s that stranded-on-a-desert-island syndrome, the desire to get away from it all that hides inside so many of us, that 
delicious sense of separation.
    
Okay, I’m not going to get too carried away. We get the same bazillion-and-one cable stations everyone else does and FedEx delivers on Saturdays. And we’re not exactly stranded. Ferries leave several times a day and there are flights out of here even in February.
    
The isolation we experience here is in large part a state of mind. Getting to the big wide world involves time, money, and inconvenience, and it’s easy to develop a mental block about leaving this rock. Though it’s not a state of mind I fight very hard.
    
So when the ferries stop running at about eight in the evening – long after the last commercial flight has flown out – you might stand on the harbor and look out over Vineyard Sound at the lights twinkling on the mainland so far away and think to yourself: if the worst thing about living on Martha’s Vineyard is the five miles of frigid water between the Island and the mainland, well, it’s also the best thing.                 

Originally broadcast on WCAI and WNAN, 
the Cape and Islands National Public 
Radio stations.

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